Even the best relationships can be complicated – especially when money is brought up. No matter if you’ve just started dating or in a years-long committed relationship, you will end up talking about your financial goals. It’s just a matter of when and how.
If you’re prepared for the conversation and have clear outcomes in mind, talking about savings, spending, and debt in your relationship doesn’t have to be awkward or embarrassing. Here’s how you can prepare to have the “big talk” about your personal finances.
When Should We Bring Money into the Relationship?
Those in the dating scene have a major incentive to have a high credit score. According to a 2024 Experian study, four out of five respondents between 18 and 43 said they found a good credit score attractive!
But if you’re nervous about having money conversations with your date, including talks about debt, you’re not alone. According to a 2024 Experian study, 56% of Americans said they only wanted to have a talk about detailed financial matters, including credit scores, after they are committed to their partner. Nearly one-in-four wanted to bring it up on the third or later date, while only a combined 16% wanted to bring it up in the first two dates.
Is there an ideal time frame to bring up money when dating? Experts say there’s no perfect point to start talking about your finances. One therapist told The Wall Street Journal that it’s okay to keep it fun if you are casually dating, but it’s important to start having money conversations once things start getting serious.
What’s the Right Way to Start a Conversation About Debt?
When it’s time to have the conversation about finances and debt, it’s important to keep an open mind about your position and where your partner is. Transparency is key for both parties and can lead to positive outcomes.
A good place to start is discussing your financial goals and values to ensure you’re aligned. From there, be honest about how you plan to achieve those goals with budgets and debt management, along with good spending and savings habits.
Remember: Just because you are having a conversation about money doesn’t mean you have to make any life-changing decisions immediately. And if you mutually agree to start taking further steps together, you can find a money management system that works for both of you.
Keeping the Lines of Communication Open About Debt
Just as it’s important to keep romance alive, it’s also critical to ensure that you are both sticking to your joint goals. Ignoring your financial health can result in major problems for your relationship. A University of Denver study found financial problems were a major contributor to divorce by 36.7% of participants and over 55% by at least one partner.
Scheduling regular ‘Money Dates’ can help you review the budget, savings goals, and any challenges that are in the way. Whether you’re having a nice meal at home or going out to a candlelit dinner, be sure you have focused, uninterrupted time to identify your main financial priorities, including:
- Building a savings fund
- Saving for a major purchase, like a car or house
- Paying off large debts, like credit cards or student loans
With a mutual vision for your long-term goals in mind, you can work together to break them down into short-term targets to make them more achievable.
Finally, decide how you want to track your progress, whether it’s with a weekly check-in or a ‘Money Date’ once a month. Whatever timeline you choose, you should review your goals together on a regular basis.
When you are a SESLOC member, we help you prepare for whatever the future might bring – from first dates to wedding bells. We’ve partnered with GreenPath Financial Wellness to give you the advantage in planning your financial goals. From educational modules for you and your partner to keep learning, to offering one-on-one financial counseling, it’s just one way we help members save more.
Click here to learn about our partnership with GreenPath and how you can get started building healthy money habits today.
The workers are sooo nice and friendly!!"
English
Spanish